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I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to think of a cutesy title for this post, but I've got nothing. Sorry to disappoint you, folks.

 

Friday. The day I’ve waited for all week. It’s finally here, and I refuse to do research on pet supplements, damnit!

 

I shouldn’t complain so much about work, I really shouldn’t. But scanning business cards for one and a half weeks can make a girl crazy. I curse the person who decided business cards merit their own scanner, and also the person who decided pets need to take vitamin supplements. My little weenie dog manages just fine on her diet of pet (and sometimes human) food.

 

Despite enduring the boredom that spans the hours of 9-6, I’m still sane and thoroughly enjoying my experience here. As day melts into night, and as Friday day becomes Friday evening, I leave work at work and explore all the wonderful things Taiwan has to offer.

 

Last weekend was especially nice because it was especially long. As I mentioned before, we got the 4^th of July off. Itching to get down to where we could see the ocean again, we took an overnight bus Thursday night.

 

When I heard overnight bus, I imagined an environment that would be conducive to sleeping. Lights out, no stops, right? Wrong. This bus was the overnight bus from hell. As we zoomed between Taipei and Kaohsiung, stopping frequently at random street corners, the bus driver would turn on harsh overhead lights and scream in muffled Chinese over the intercom.

 

Being a light sleeper anyway, I clocked 0.0 hours of sleep and arrived in Kaohsiung frazzled and not refreshed in the least.  Luckily I can appreciate the hilarity of situations as they happen.

 

The bus from hell became the van from hell as we made our way from Kaohsiung to Kenting. This hell included a mandatory 5 a.m. viewing of a performance on a DVD the van driver blindly plucked off the shelf at some store. Damian, who the New York Times dubbed the “Virtuoso of the Pan Flute,” filled our van with music as the sun rose over the South Pacific. 

 

The van driver probably thought Damian was his ace in the hole for entertaining foreign clientele, and he was right. Watching a sleazy Romanian man fervently playing some sort of flute while already in a state of delirium is exactly how I would like to spend the hours between five and seven in the morning. I was laughing hysterically for pretty much the entire van ride.

 

We arrived in Kenting before anything but the beach – and luckily McDonald’s – was open, and I napped on the sand as the day heated up Taiwan-style. We rented scooters from the same place as before (no I.D. required there) and zoomed off to one of the prettiest beaches I’ve ever seen. The water was blue and clear, the sand was pseudo-white, and the sun was high and bright. We swam for a bit and rested under a large beach umbrella.

 

After driving along the coast and getting some tasty fried rice at a restaurant for lunch, we checked into our abode for the weekend. While the promised private surfing beach was not so private and not so picturesque, Winson’s Surf House was perfect for a group of college kids looking to have fun and relax at the same time. Our balcony looked out onto the blue waters of the Pacific and at night provided an amazing place to stargaze.

 

On Friday night we Americans were hungry for American food. What’s the 4^th of July without a hamburger, right? So we went to a place called Smoky Joe’s and I had a pretty good bacon cheeseburger. I’m still not really craving American food yet, but it provided a nice break from rice and noodles at every meal.

 

Saturday was a lazy day. We woke late and had a long breakfast at the snack bar at Winson’s. It was long because the service was excruciatingly slow, even though there were about six people staffing the bar and the food was as simple as it gets. But my coconut paste toast and milk tea were well worth the wait. Mmmmmm.

 

The rest of Saturday consisted of a nice drive on a scenic road that curved around a rocky shoreline, some lazing on the beach, and napping. A walk over a hilariously lame suspension bridge and two weenies on a stick ended the day right. I feel any experience would be improved by a Taiwanese weenie on a stick.

 

Sunday was another lazy day, but we had to make it back to Kaohsiung to catch the 6:00 bus so there were things to get done. We checked out of Winson’s and had a little more time in Kenting before we returned the scooters and hopped into another van. The sounds of Damian were absent from this one, which was a good thing since we had to cram nine bodies into an eight-person car after three full days of sweating from every pore in our bodies. I think more Damian would have set us over the edge.

 

The bus back to Taipei felt longer than the bus to Kaohsiung because it actually was longer. We hit some traffic and arrived back in Taipei at midnight completely exhausted. Unable to sleep on the bus, I entertained myself by watching a Taiwanese game show on the bus TV. The contestants were given several stressful tasks, including popping huge balloons between their legs (very difficult for Asian women with stick-thin thighs), sliding a cracker from their foreheads to their mouths without using their hands, and blowing a ping pong ball out of a huge vat of flower. Taiwanese entertainment at its best.  

 

On Tuesday we went to a Taiwanese baseball game, which featured the best team in the top league here and was still only attended by about 1000 fans. But even though the stadium was empty, the fans of the T-Rexes and the Elephants were hardcore. They performed cheers and chants when their own team was up to bat, waved balloons, and beat shakers together. My favorite part of the night was when the fans of one team popped their large, pink, hot-dog-shaped balloons simultaneously, causing them to shrink and wave away into the night sky.

 

Other nights this week included a trip to a lovely park with a view of smoggy Taipei by night and two games at a bowling alley. I bowled better than I ever have in my life, and I’d like to take the opportunity here to thank Taiwan for that.

 

NEWS FLASH: We just experienced an earthquake! The World Trade Center started swaying back and forth and of course I had no idea what was going on. I’m still a little shaken up. My first real earthquake (that I was awake for)!

 

Come on, weekend!